Ups and Downs

The past few weeks have been difficult. I’ve had my ups and downs. My biggest up being working things out with my boyfriend. I’m happy, and hope things continue on the path that they’re on. He’s been extremely supportive of my treatment and going to see new doctors that can help.

Today I had a consultation for physical therapy. It was a let down. The Physical Therapist felt at this time, aggressive therapy would not benefit me, and could potentially hurt me. As we don’t know the exact cause of my muscle weakness, how can we treat it? He gave me some home exercises to try, and see what happens. I will give it a go!!! I’ve finally accepted the fact I may be wheelchair bound, but what hurts me the most is my parents refuse to accept it. They push me and push me, i’m tired of just pushing myself so much to the point i’m in constant pain and constantly exhausted. I’ve begun having major trouble eating, and going to the bathroom, but not once did anyone suggest going to the hospital, after my doctors had mentioned it to be necessary. I just sometimes feel so alone, and upset. My friend Stephanie has been absolutely amazing through it all, as has my boyfriend. They both have truly been blessings. They are there to talk when I need someone, and to just be a friend, or confidant. I’m truly lucky for them.

I was referred to Vanderbilt, my dad was annoyed, he thinks i should take time away from the doctors to see if I get better… NEWSFLASH I’m not getting any better!!! I’m getting worse!!!! I can’t get into Vanderbilt until November, but I am on the waitlist. I just hope something opens soon. I hope my family becomes a little more supportive, because lately they really haven’t been.

I’ll stand strong though. I’ll keep fighting on, because i’m not going to give up.

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