Life, Insecurities and Strength

Hello my beautiful and amazing lovelies!!! I know i’ve been missing in action, but now i’m focusing more on writing, with the support of my family and friends!!!

 

OK!! Lets get down to it! So, i’m not sure any of you know, last year I signed on to be a Community LeaderĀ with Dysautonomia Support Network . This was so important to me. Ā I want to connect other patients, other caregivers, I want to work together and get doctors involved in learning more about dysautonomia. This is a passion of mine. This I do, for all of us, for you, your wife, sister, mother, friend.. Anyone that suffers any chronic illness, we need to build that support system together! I’m working on projects, still learning the ins and outs of things. It’s been an amazing time learning and volunteering with so many amazing people. šŸ™‚

 

Now I know i’ve touched on it in a few older posts. I walk with a limp, with an unsteady gait. I usually use a walker. Well, my rheumatologist is sending me for Aquatic Physical Therapy. I had my first consultation this past Tuesday. It was interesting, long and tiring. I have motor control and planning issues. My joint instability also lends to issues. I have major balance issues. My goal is to walk down the aisle at some point, and dance my first dance and dance with my Dad! She recommended a wheelchair for distances and anything that involves a lot of walking. This, unfortunately I know was coming. We’re now at a safety thing, a wheelchair will give me a bit more freedom, and allow me to do things with my son/family. When I got home, I was upset, I cried, and just didn’t want to acknowledge she was right about the wheelchair.Two amazing friends, whom I met through DSN, also were amazing at reassuring me of things, and how it does’t have to affect my life as a mom or wife negatively unless I let it. Between them, and my family, they really eased my mind. I know it’s not an easy thing to accept, but we need to acknowledge our body’s limitations, we need to listen to our body, not push it till we fall, or are utterly exhausted. We need to take care of ourselves too!

 

This brings me to my next topic.. Self Care! What do we do for ourselves? To relax, refresh our mind, and body? Self care is so so important. The below quote is all too true. We must take care of ourselves! šŸ™‚ What’s your favorite thing to do?? Leave a comment, lets start a discussion (I may create a facebook page for my blog), and maybe give each other ideas!

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Alrighty, someone asked me how can I be disabled, sick, and date. I talked to my counselor, and she helped me to see myself for who I am. I’m strong, i’m independent, i’m compassionate, passionate, loving and caring. I’m a silly in the car singer, dancer, and goofy person, I love meme, and jokes. Why WOULDN’T anyone want me?? My physical limitations don’t have an impact on WHO I am. They DON’T define me. I think that’s what we in the chronically illness community deal with. It’s become a part of us, our life, and we’re so quick to just dismiss the chances of life, or really living life. I think we need to always remember, we’re people. We’re not our illness. We’re not our dysautonomia. We’re not our Ehlers Danlos, Our Lyme, or anything else. We’re ourselves. We are who we are. We’re people with dreams and goals. You deserve all the love and happiness. Don’t let your illness define you.

 

I can’t stress this enough, always be true to you. Always be a voice, always know you’re beautiful. you’re strong, you’re a warrior. Most importantly You’re not alone, there’s a community standing behind you. There’s always someone there to listen, just reach out. If you’re new to a diagnosis, reach out to a group. If you’re new to being a caregiver, reach out. I will be here to listen. For now my beauties, stay who you are. Continue being the warriors you are, be proud of who you are.

 

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-Much love to you all.

A.

 

Annnnd.. We’re back!

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Hi all!!! I know it’s been a long time, unfortunately my actual website crashed, and I can’t retrieve anything from it! 😦 So, i’m starting over on here, while I rebuild a new one! So stay tuned my lovelies!

So, it’s been an eventful year!

Onto a quick medical update: Ā It’s been a year of doctors, and revelations! I was diagnosed with Ehlers Danlos in May. The doctors are now fairly certain I have amyloidosis. So, we’re going through all the testing for that. They’re also pushing for an MRI to fully rule out MS. My gastroparesis is causing issues, but i’m trying to push through. My gasro is good, but now i’m searching for a motility specialist. Any suggestions for Florida, would be greatly appreciated.

One thing that’s been really heavy on my heart is the taboo topic of Mental Health. The depression and anxiety many with chronic illnesses suffer from. The way doctors brush off symptoms, and just tell us it’s in our heads. It’s unacceptable. I’ve heard some people, doctors even, say, ” Just be more positive”.Ā Having a positive outlook isn’t going to cure an illness… Ā This is why people who struggle with chronic illnesses, and mental health issues say; ā€œI’m fineā€. Because when we’re honest about how we feel and how we struggle, we’re told to think positive. It’s a bullshit statement. My thinking positively isn’t going to cure my autoimmune issues. So I’ll just continue on with saying; ā€œI’m fineā€ because people don’t want to hear nor see the truth. I’ll hide behind the fake smiles, and carry on. Perhaps it’s because no one takes us seriously, no one lets us feel what we feel. We’re told to suck it up and be positive. #endthestigma

No, I’m not saying that being positive doesn’t help, however it is NOT a cure. It’s extremely condescending to tell people ā€œoh just be positive, it’ll cure you.ā€, or ā€œmaybe be more positive and you wouldn’t be so sick.ā€ Those are condescending statements made to people, by people that don’t understand nor care to. They make people feel ashamed for how they feel, they basically say, how we feel is wrong. That’s unacceptable.

 

I’ve had doctors, several in fact, comment on how positive I am. I don’t want others to feel down, or feel ashamed for how they feel and struggle, or brushed off because no one listens to how they feel. I’ve been there, I want to HELP them to share what they feel and how they struggle. We shouldn’t bottle up how we feel or struggle just so we don’t upset or offend anyone.

My motto is this: ā€œAdjust, adapt, move forwardā€. That is what I choose to do when I face an obstacle. We need to be a voice, we need to find our voice. We need to stand up and say we’re not wrong, that our feelings are perfectly normal. We’re not something to be ashamed of, or to made to feel inferior. I’m working on launching a youtube channel, with blogs about this, and about my journey. I’d love to have collaborators. I’d love get this movement off the ground! I’d love to make this huge! YOU are not defined by what you have, you are defined by WHAT YOU DO and WHO YOU ARE!

Let’s be voice, let’s fight the stigma we face. Let’s be beacon of hope to those struggling to find their voice!

 

#findyourvoice, #beavoice, #letsbeabeacon, #dontbeashamedofyourstory, #beinspired, #endthestigma

 

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