Holy H. Pylori

Hello Everyone!! Sorry I haven’t been around. I’ve been having some issues eating and taking in fluids. I had a Gastric Emptying Study done and according to my Gastro it is borderline. at 4 hours, only 72% of my food had left my stomach. Interesting to know. I’ve also finally gotten an endoscopy done. Turns out I have H. Pylori. Oh Joy!!! I also have white plaques in my esophagus, and gastritis. Very fun.. NOT. I was started on Antibiotics to get rid of the H. Pylori. Let’s hope it works.

I recently returned to Virginia to see my heart doctor. It was a very important and necessary trip.  I’m also spending the summer at my mom’s in Tennessee.

I’ve learned that not all doctors care about their patients. This is truly horrible!! My gastro is amazing, as is my internist. My neurologist is also amazing! I’ve had no medication for my migraines (that don’t interfere with my POTS), and my legs are getting even weaker!! I keep hoping though! I’ve also been considering the use of a wheelchair. The pain when I walk is becoming unbearable. You learn to hide it, but i’m starting to not be able to do that anymore!

Let’s all focus on the good, and think of our blessings in life. new day

Dog and Sunlight= Laughs and Crawling

Here’s a laugh for ya! So I was inside relaxing, since I leave for  Vanderbilt tonight and I hear my dog barking like crazy. I  go outside not realizing how sunny it is. I’m instantly blinded, dizzy and just dropped to my knees. Now i’m crawling through the backyard on my hands and knees, to get her with my eyes closed because of the sunlight.. I had no idea what she was growling and barking at. So I finally got her!  30 minutes later she’s whining at the door to go out, I let her out thinking she has to go potty, but noooo not my Lillie Belle!!!!!.. Then, what do I hear????  The barking and growling again:  This time I went out prepared for battle..I had sunglasses and shoes,  and was prepared to crawl again if I had to dammit!  I heard hissing and the bushes were moving like crazy all down the fence WTH!!! ..She wasn’t backing down, I’m screaming for her, telling her to come, she wasn’t backing down. She was like “This bitch is mine! Mom”  LOL . I finally got her away from it, and in the house.  Then she starts pacing the living room whining to go back out and get it. So i’m assuming it’s a raccoon by her actions. lol. Our good little hunting dog!  I called my dad and he got a good laugh, though he was glad I’m alright. He said maybe a opossum. Maybe it’s a honey badger?! (for those that got the joke, good on you!)  Whatever it is, she wants it!  Hope this added some laughter to your day, because it sure did to mine!

Moral of the story: Just laugh, even if it’s at yourself. 🙂 I could have gotten angry, but what’s the point?

So..Who would win??? LOL 🙂

Lillie Belle     2013-11-09 20.22.02    Vs          raccoon The Raccoon

Down Days

Never-lose-hope

I have had a few good days then a lot of bad days recently. Yesterday I spent pretty much in bed or on the couch. I just had no energy, and the pain was hell. I saw the Rheumatologist on Wednesday, she is now checking for Sjogren’s Syndrome. Joyous..Another possibility to add to the list. She was great, and put me at ease. She was very thorough and explained as much as she could to me, and answered all my questions. I even broke down with her.. “Is this my life now?” I asked her. She held my hand and said “Sweetie, it could be, it could get worse, could get better. Just remember your amazing strength and beautiful son. Never give up.” I couldn’t help but cry. How many doctors would help a patient like that? How many would take the time to truly care???? I felt honored to have her as my doctor. The next day was spent with the Electrophysiologist in regards to my pacemaker. He confirmed my biggest fears… That the previous surgeries were not necessary in any way, and I’m not completely dependent on my pacemaker. He referred me to a specialist. One that is an expert in POTS and Dysautonomia. He put me at ease, and helped me to not be so scared. It just means more traveling, for more doctors. 

Yesterday I woke up in an awful mood. I was jittery and just on edge. I just couldn’t shake the feeling. I was so tired, I wanted to just sleep the day away. I pretty much did. Between that and the pain, I didn’t want to do anything. Though I always push myself, i’m learning when to push and when to back down! I’ve still not accepted this. Accepted that I now have limitations, and I can’t do everything I used to. That I am, as a person, changing. I’m scared of losing who I am, the woman I’ve always been. I don’t want to do that. I’m terrified of it. I’m so scared of accepting things that i’m just avoiding, ignoring. I know it’s wrong of me to do. I know in time, I will finally accept things, but right now, I just can’t, I refuse.  I want love, a partner, someone special. What if I never find that?? I’m scared of that. I’m scared of being alone through this.

It’s a learning process. I’m still new to all of this, and I will continue to search for answers and continue to do what I can to keep my independence. I will not let this control me. I will not let it beat me down, I will not let it take the woman I am. I’m learning.. The woman i will become, she will still be me..a stronger me, a fighter. That’s what I am.. That’s what i’ll do. Fight, Remain Strong, and through it all, never lose faith in myself, God and my family.